Hi. Oh wait, did I say that already...? Just kidding. How has
your week been? That's great! (assuming you had a great week...) Can ya tell I'm
just stalling? I am. I don't have much to say, again. I'll be honest. These past
6 weeks have been some of the hardest of my mission. I have had to fight to want
to stay here. And I know, I have 6 weeks left, and all that jazz. But it's been
hard. I have been so emotionally tired in so many ways, that I just have wanted
to curl up in a ball, throw a blanket over the top of me, and sleep forever. And
I'm not that physically tired, sorta, it's just emotional stress.
But you know, I have had some really good moments this week.
I was having a bit of breakdown the other day, and Sis. Origer says to me, "Have
you thought about getting a blessing?" And I say, "I've thought about
it. I probably should..." And then a few minutes later, I texted some of the
elders, and asked if when I saw them the next day at stake conference I could get
a blessing. So I didn't get one that next day because timing didn't work out, but
I did on Sunday. My companion was in an exiting interview with President, so I grabbed
the zone leaders and sister training leaders. We found an empty classroom, and I
had one of them give me a blessing. It was kinda funny because he asked who I want
to anoint and who I want to seal. We all just kind of looked at each other funny
for a moment, and then one of the other elders said that for a blessing of counsel,
I don't need to be anointed. And then we laughed, and they said that they are used
to Dayton, where giving blessings of healing are common. Probably a lot to do with
drugs and such. Anyway, in the blessing, among a lot of other things, I was told
to find the joy in building up the Lord's Kingdom again. I feel like I have lost
that here recently. I have been so stressed, that it's not even joyful for me anymore,
it's a chore. I don't like that feeling, and I plan on changing it.
And so, this morning, during my studies, I was reading my Patriarchal
blessing, and I was told that I would have the desire to share the Gospel. And so
between those two statements, I have come to the realization that I have lost my
fire, and if I am going to endure faithfully to the end, I am going to have to rekindle
it. And I have some very good ideas about how. I am excited to feel excited again.
Now, don't take this letter the wrong way. I am not trying to
drag anyone down with my problems. What I am trying to say is that even though times
are hard for me right now, I am going to make it. I know that God is personally
invested in my success, and because of that, I cannot fail. I think, in summarized
terms, I have lost my hope, and I am going to spend the next, and last, six weeks
of my mission finding it.
I heard a quote from Brigham Young at Stake Conference, from
Pres. Porter no less, and it says, "If the Gospel of Jesus Christ doesn't change
you, leave." Well, I am not leaving, so I better start changing. Hahahahaha
:D
Also, this was Sis. Origer's last transfer, and she is flying
home on Tuesday morning, meaning that I am going to have a new companion tomorrow
morning. That is super weird to me...
I want you all to know that I know that the Priesthood is real.
There is no power on Earth that can compare. Through the Priesthood, we are able
to be saved by the ordinances, and our faithful diligence in keeping our covenants.
Our covenants are POWERFUL and they keep us safe. Our covenants are God's way of
showing his love. If you have not received all the ordinances that you can/should
at this point, do so. Don't wait. This world is so insane, and it is only getting
worse. The Gospel, the Priesthood, and our Covenants are what the Lord has provided
to make His plan work, and if we are to participate, we must have all of these things
in our lives.
I love you. I know that God loves you. I know that Jesus Christ
is there to share our burdens.
In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Love, Sister Worthen
